As odd as it is, I feel a serious amount of guilt whenever I think about how I haven't written on the blog for a few days (or, weeks or months).
And to be honest, that totally sucks.
Last year, when I suddenly stopped writing in May, I had had enough, I was just done and needed a break. But a few months later, I was again thinking about how I'd could blog about this, blog about that, and I was itching to blog. I kept thinking about it, but was afraid of getting burned out again and I didn't want to drop off the face of the blog-earth like I did last time.
So, after months and months (eight months in fact) of telling myself "no," I started it back up again. I figured if I came into it giving myself more grace for not writing I wouldn't burn out. I had lots of things that I wanted to share with family and friends and I just needed an outlet. But once again, I'm just not feeling like writing.
For most of you readers, it's no big deal to you that I bop in and out every few days or weeks, but I really struggle with having a blog with my name attached to it that has a post dated from month ago at the top. Maybe it's because I work in PR and I tell my clients that's not "best practices" or because I'm type-A and like everything to look up-to-date and orderly, but whatever the reason, this blog is a huge tug-of-war for me. I want to write, but then sometimes I don't. I know to have a "successful blog" you need to be consistent with content (as in 3-5 times a week) - but that's never been the goal for me - I just want want to be able to tell my mom what I cooked last night and hear her ooo and awww over my housewife triumphs.
But at some point throughout the blogging journey, I started to do things for the blog - not doing things for me and Mike and then blog about them. I would think about OA and that that I needed to stop everything to take photos for the bog or how I must sit down and write a post, but all I wanted to do is shut let my brain turn to mush and watch some quality American TV programming. It might seem weird to some people, but it brings an enormous amount of guilt when I don't have posts queued up for at least three days of the week - and I don't want to live with that kind of guilt - that's well, lame.
But at the same time I also hate the feeling of not being able to write and share with family and friends when I want to.
So, to get to the point. This isn't goodbye, per se, it's more like a see ya later, or I'll see ya when I see ya. I don't want OA to die a long slow death on the interwebs, but I also don't want to kill it today. So, as I've always said, I'm letting it be whatever it needs to be for me. And for now, it's a break (as I'm typing this I'm getting that anxious feeling that tells me as soon as I hit "publish" I'll be hankering to write another post). I know I'll be back and probably sooner than later, so don't take me off your Reader, Mom (what am I saying, I don't think you'd even know how). But for now, let's just say, later, gator.